Roomin' with Strangers: Freshman Advice

The first semester of college is rough, not gonna lie. It's stressful, confusing, and causes you to question your life choices many times. You and thousands of other young adults have just been extracted from your homes and dropped off in an environment like no other. It doesn't matter if you go to school in the same town that you grew up in or a different country, things are different now. You're now in that awkward, in-between stage of being an official 'legal' adult and still having to answer to your parents and going home over holidays or breaks.

The first couple of weeks of school are a scramble of trying to find your group, fit in, get your classes figured out, and adjusting to independent living. There are many mixers and events to meet new people and you may think you've found your group in the first week only to find out a month later that you've drifted apart. It can seem like everyone else has everything figured out, has found their people, and you may get really lonely. Don't stress about it, it takes time to make friendships and figure out what someone is really like. For some people, maybe the first person you meet will be your closest friend. For others, it could be the last few weeks of school, or later, before you finally feel like you've found your friend group.

One of the first, and longer, platonic relationships you're going to have in college is with your roommates

Ah, roommates. You see them every day and whether you love them, hate them, or coexist, you still have to share a small, tiny space with them for an entire year. I ended up in a triple my freshman year, in one of the less desirable dorms on campus. The space was small, especially for three girls, but thankfully we were all tidy and did our best to make it work. Now, in the beginning we were all super excited once we met each other. We had similar music tastes, loved the outdoors, and thought we would hang out with each other all of the time. We even went for a group run together the first week of school and ate dinner and occasionally breakfast together.

As the year progressed, I saw less and less of them. By the end of the school year, I think I had talked to both roommates for a total of ten minutes during the last quarter of school. This was mostly because our days we scheduled so differently. I had 8:30's everyday of the week second semester, so I would normally get up early and run with a friend before class. My classes were drawn out throughout the day and I had club activities, work, and studying, so I often didn't return to my dorm until late. Sometimes I'd pop in around 6 pm to drop my stuff off and then grab dinner at the nearby dining hall, or I would just bring my backpack with me and study in one of the common rooms until nine or ten at night.

My roommates on the other hand had late classes, so they slept in past nine...or ten...every day.It was only on the weekends that we would occasionally end up going to bed or getting up around the same time.

Even with the drastic schedule difference, my experience with these two girls was positive. We always respected each other and our space. If we had friends over, we would let the others know or move the actives outside of the room if someone needed to study or go to bed. Thankfully, we were all cleanly people and took turns taking out the trash or recycling, swept or vacuumed once a week, and were generally neat.

The main issue was something none of us could control---our door was very, very squeaky. Thus, every morning when I would try to quietly sneak out of the room to go run the door would creaaakkk, occasionally waking up my roommates. On the flip side, at night if they came in late I would wake up from the door squeaking (or the creaky bed as one of my roommates was on the bunk above me).

Some of my other friends, however, were much less fortunate. Over winter break and now summer break, I've heard several horror stories that make me shudder.

One of my friends from high school had a roommate who stole her stuff and outright threatened her with physical violence when said friend approached her roommate about stealing her stuff. Another girl I know was in a suite, which is two double rooms sharing a private bathroom, and her suite mates were filthy. As in, they never cleaned-anything.Their room, the bathroom, themselves... They had so much trash in their rooms by the end of the semester that they slept in the lobby because their beds were so full of filth. Apparently, they had mice in their room because of all of the trash and they plugged the toilet a grand total of twelve times. (Which, of course, they left for my friend to clean otherwise it would be clogged forever.)

Basically, it's alright if you and your roommate simply co-exist.(Also, please clean every now and then.) Some people will become best friends with their roomies, others may just chill together, as long as boundaries are respected and each person is responsible for basic chores. If at any point you feel threatened or really uncomfortable with your living situation, do not hesitate to reach out to your RA or residential life to try to fix the problem.

My friend that was threatened by her roommate requested a room swap and her new roommate second semester was great and they got along super well.

For every horror story, there is also a positive one, where roommates are friendly or BFF's and may even decide to room together again in future years.

Roommates can definitely impact your college experience. It's extremely important to communicate with each other. You don't have to be best friends but you should have some sort of roommate agreement about who does what for chores or what the quiet hours/no guests in the room should be.

Some of the most important things you should focus on when looking for a roommate are when they like to get up/go to bed, if they are neat or messy (whatever matches you), and at least a few similar interests.

Best of luck!