10 Life Lessons from College

Well, that’s a wrap folks. This crazy second year of college is finally over. There’s been ups and downs, thrills and chills, love and laughter, tears and frustration. No one expected the ending we got—two months of online classes after spring break. (With an additional two months of family time no one planned for either). While I’m glad the year is finally over, I’m already looking forward to the fall for a hopefully, semi-normal semester of classes and fun with friends. While the future is still uncertain, I’ve been reflected on the past more often and wanted to share some of the things I’ve learned in college so far.

Freshman year was pretty rough, to be honest. Dropped off one day into a cesspool of ten thousand students where I knew approximately zero going into the year, in a strange new environment, with school work and responsibilities, trying to make friends and get good grades and just survive.

Sophomore year began much better. I knew people going in, had a solid friend foundation. Was in a better dorm with awesome roommates, kind of knew what I was doing (at least more so than last year), and was much more willing to try anything and make the most of every week. As with all things in life, there were highs and lows and times when I laughed so hard I cried and times that were so hard I cried.

Here’s a few of the ‘life-lessons’ I’ve been developing over the last two years, and am still working on.

1.Trying new experiences: don’t be afraid to do something. Say yes when you can. Don’t go into a situation expecting that you have to love it or that you have to be perfect doing something. A rule of thumb I came up with was “Go for 15 min, try it out, if it works – great! Stay longer and have fun. If you’re not liking it-cool! Just leave.” On one hand you could have an awesome experience and find some new passion (Ex: contradancing!) if not, you gave it a shot and learned something anyways (Ex: Log rolling!)

2. Give yourself permission to slow down or even take a day off. I tried to take at least one full day off from school work (normally Saturdays) every week to give my mind a break. It didn’t always happen, but when I did take a day off I found I was much more productive the next day. Since we’ve been in quarantine, everything’s slowed down a lot and it’s been a strange (constant) adjustment. So still working on taking breaks, relaxing/not doing work, and also taking rest days from exercise which is really hard for me to do (especially when I find myself with extra free time).

3. Develop good study habits. I might make a more complete post about this in the future, but developing good study habits like staying on top of assignments, talking with professors and TA’s, and preparing for exams was vital to maintaining good grades in school. Listen to Podcasts, read books, watch helpful videos. Listen to others. Take time to learn in more ways than just school. Go to community meetings, ask strangers questions, observe what’s happening in the world.

4. Be intentional with your time. On campus, in town (at least pre-COVID) there’s always a million things to do. Though I often tried, it’s impossible to do everything at once. You have to be really intentional with what you do with yourself in college. Should I study for this exam? Do I need to put in some extra hours at work? Should I go see that awesome new movie with my friends? I should probably get dinner soon…darn, don’t want to eat along, can I invite someone to join me? Planning your schedule ahead of time is a really useful tool to stay on top of things and avoid feeling like you’re wasting your time. Send out invites to friends for meals, fun events, weekend hikes, etc. Schedule in study breaks, times to stretch/work out, eat a snack, or just generally chill. If you need to, make plans to be spontaneous! This may seem like an oxymoron, but schedule some free time where you can just go out and let fun things happen on their own and don’t get stressed about FOMO or thinking that you need to be somewhere else, doing something else, just be present and have fun in the moment.

5.Prioritize sleep. Sleep has such a huge impact on both your mental and physical wellbeing. It can be really easy to cut down on your sleepy time as soon as things start getting busy or stressful, but believe me, it’s a lot better to pause and reset then stay up super late stressing out. There will probably be days where you’re doing homework till 12 or 1 am, but it’s ok to stop and go to bed. Wake up early the next day to work on it if you want to, or not, it will get done eventually!

6. Allow yourself to lower expectations. Oof this one is really hard for me. Most of my expectations are self-inflicted, but that doesn’t mean they’re any easier to ignore. Some of the one’s I’ve been working on:

You are allowed to not be on the top of your game 24/7. There will be days where you feel like crap and don’t want to get out of bed. Days where you’re so exhausted just want to be in bed by like 9 pm. You don’t have to have a killer workout or go a thousand miles every time. You can take a day off.

Don’t worry about perfection. If you’re facing a deadline, it’s often better to just get the assignment done! Often doing 80 or 90% of your capacity to work is better than a late due date, and a having few small errors or getting some points docked won’t be the end of the world. Grades: Getting a ‘B’ is fine, it’s not the end of the world. You are not defined by your GPA or your exam scores, there are so many other factors that make you worthy. (C’s get degrees, right?) It’s ok to ask for extensions; if things are rushed and you’re overwhelmed, go up and ask if you can have some extra time.

7. Figure out your baselines. What do you need to feel like yourself? Happiness is not a constant state, but wholeness can be. Find the points in your life that fill you up with life. Are you someone who likes to move or exercise? What types of food fuels your day? What are small joys you can bring into your life? Think chocolate and tea before bed, taking a few minutes to read or meditate, listen to your favorite music…How much sleep do you need to function? What level of social time do you like? Where do you get your energy from? Remember, just being a person, being yourself, a human being on this planet, getting through each day is enough. You are enough.

8. Work on building relationships. The people are really what makes a place feel like home, like you belong somewhere. And it takes time to do, which can seem frustrating but is so worth it. Friendships, community, romance, a deeper connection with yourself, with nature, and so much more. True friends and loving relationships are one of the most wonderful parts of life.

9. Remember that the place (mental/physical/etc) you are in right now is a temporary spot in the grand scheme of life. It’s ok if things aren’t perfect. You have permission to be sad. To be angry. To regret. To work harder. To take it easy. Have grit, push through whatever obstacles you face, persevere. Keep moving towards the light at the end of the tunnel as far away as it may seem. Listen to yourself, and trust that something good will happen in the future.

10. You can make change. You don’t have to wait till a holiday like New Year’s or the end of the semester or your birthday; you can change your life whenever you want to. Take small steps, but remember to take action now while the thoughts and feelings are fresh. Even if it’s just writing your goals down, doing some research, talking with others about it, just move towards that goal. And then JUST DO IT! (Stereotypical but true)

Bonus: Remember that the world doesn’t revolve around you. Which is honestly pretty relieving. There are so many other things happening around us, our planet is a lot bigger than you may realize, and guess what- if you mess up, it’ll still be ok! There is so much to do, explore, experience, that a couple mishaps, or even large mishaps, are not going to be the end of the world.

I hope you found these tips useful and can bring some of them into your own life. Comment below some of things you’ve learned or are learning throughout college and life in general. Just remember to value friendships, your time on this planet, and all the opportunities you encounter (expected and otherwise). Be spontaneous, have adventurous, have fun. Life it short, it can be beautiful and terrible and a constant rollercoaster, but having all of those feelings and experiences are what makes life worth living.