Blue skies and blue feelings

First week of 2022 and already struggling…as much as I want to create meaningful work and have aesthetically pleasing photos, marvelous adventures, and beautiful moments to share—life doesn’t always turn out how you imagine. So forgive me in advance for sharing a quick rant about all the highs and lows that have thus befallen me upon this first week of January (written on the 7th).

I’ll start with the positives and I could wax poetic about the beauty of the sunrises and sunsets we’ve had of late with several days of clear skies (and plenty other filled with clouds) with beautiful shades of red, purple, pink, orange, and gold as the sun charts its course across the sky.

The days are slowly growing longer. Thank god because I’m a sunshine gal and seasonal depression hits hard on the coasts.

The snow has finally started to come and I was able to enjoy a slippery cross county ski today as well as a fun but treacherously icy hike up Camels Hump with a friend earlier this week.

The cats have been extra cuddly of late.

Friends are returning to Vermont and it‘s nice seeing familiar faces. I’ve been trying to see or talk with a friend every day and that’s been great to stay connected with others and have a social activity to look forward too (though my introverted self has needed extra alone time to recover).

The library is open and I am currently reading way too many books at once *cough cough five in progress*.

I’ve been experimenting with new recipes and getting back into art. Music and dancing are working their way back into my life, I actually picked up my flute for fun today and practiced for no reason other than enjoyment. Oh also I crocheted a hat!

My fig plant decided that its time to grow again since our building’s heat is now on it thinks the summer has arrived and I’ve had fun watching it grow.

The bad stuff will be after the pretty photo collage so if you don’t want to hear the downsides of this week just skip the lower text.

In the less positive side of things, I’ve been struggling to find a second job since I can only work part time at my current place (though I am very thankful to have even that its only enough for a months work to pay the months rent and not much else). While there apparently are a bunch of job openings, everywhere is a 3+ step application / hiring process and I’ve already done 2+ interviews for the same position … for multiple applications … so all I feel like I’m doing is running on a hampster wheel going nowhere and looking at the days stretching into weeks of no one actually hiring me and just requesting follow up interviews.

Still trying to figure out summer jobs as well. So much of my time lately has been spent on job applications.

I still don’t have my diploma so I can’t do any of the next steps for grad school and I’m stressing about funding, visas, housing, etc.

FOMO/YOLO/FOLO/YOMO is real and its hitting hard. Trying to find time to run and hike and ski and have fun. To do the whole ‘new year new me’ thing even though I don’t really do resolutions I still get caught up in the trap of constant productivity and self betterment. Trying to balance rest and having fun and doing work and not spend every waking hour stressed about the next step.

Oh and two of my housemates tested positive for covid so I’m currently in isolation and waiting for my PCR test to come back and praying that it’s negative. So have cancelled all weekend plans or converted them to virtual FaceTime ‘dates’ or phone calls (which are not as fun but better than nothing)….so mental health is definitely not the best its ever been.

Hopefully everything works out in the end and I really hope the rest of the year is better than this first week has been.