The Body Issues: Holiday Blues

Hello folks, we’re back with another rambling rant on topics related to eating disorders and recovery so here’s you trigger warning to not read any further in case reading this will negatively affect your mindset! If you’re in a comfortable space with your body please read on for some rambling thoughts about how the holidays can bring up some mental and physical health issues.

Recovery from any illness (mental or physical) takes time, patience, and perseverance. Old wounds are prone to reopening and for me the holidays can be especially difficult regarding eating food and related to body image. Even though I’m years into recovery at this point there are still lingering things that cause disordered thoughts related to eating, negatively impacting my food habits, leading to excessive exercise, harmful body talk, etc.

Some of my triggers include consuming a surplus of sweets, high carb/fatty foods—especially takeout or dishes that I didn’t make and don’t know what all went into making them, excessive alcohol or ”liquid calories”, not being able to exercise due to weather, locality, or family obligations….which are all prime opportunities at holiday gatherings.

There also is the tendency for relatives (whether well meaning or not) to make comments on how you (specially your body) have (has) changed since you were a child or since you got to college or beyond, remarks on if you’ve lost or gained weight, and other minute comments that may seem harmless in passing but can have deeply negative effects on the person in question. Even talk surrounding calories or contents of the food, mentioning you should go for a walk or run to “burn off” what you just ate or mentioning “you‘re young you don’t have to worry about what you eat but when you’re my age watch out for the gut if you eat one too many cookies!” Middle-aged women especially seem to have a (likely engrained by the patriarchal capatlist society we live in) tendancy to diet, talk about their progress, obsess over their changing bodies— which by the way is all a natural process by the way as we age our phsycal appearance is of course going to shift — and so on, but this can be really harmful to younger girls and even boys or non binary folks.

While in the last few years family gatherings have gone away or been on the smaller side, comments on social media or via video chat or phone calls can have as much of an impact as those from the person standing next to you. I’ve been trying to get better about deleting or deflecting these comments and making sure I don’t make any myself. This is both for my own well being and that of those around me. No one needs to know if you’ve changed pant sizes or if your New Years resolution is to go on a really strict diet or if you skipped breakfast and lunch only to gorge until you’re sick on thanksgiving …. (which is a huge pet peeve of mine, seriously have some breakfast please).

Overall what I’m trying to say is please be mindful of what you’re saying to yourself and others during the holiday season. Your words can have more of an impact than you intent.

Some reminders for those folks who may be struggling:

* Your body does not define you

*You do not need to earn your food to eat

*Food is not only fuel, it can be social as well

*Enjoy the sweets, one cookie or five is not going to drastically change your life.

*If you’re craving something it’s probably because that food has something your body wants or needs (fun fact chocolate has iron in it and I’ve noticed that when I’m on my period and loosing iron more often I crave choclate even more)

*Your body naturally fluctuates day to day and hour to hour, its okay if you look different

*Be kind and gentle to yourself

*Photos are not reality (in every sense of the word)

*You are enough no matter what

Try to move away from body positivity where you feel like you have to be in love with your body and yourself 24/7 and feel bad when you don’t—move towards a body NEUTRALITY mindset where you are okay, yes just okay, with your body. Try focusing on what your body can do, be thankful for the legs that get you where you need to go, for the hands that create beautiful things, for your ears to listen to all of the music and sounds of the world, for your eyes to see the amazing things life has to offer, and so much more.

Be kind to yourself and to others this holiday season.

Love,

An Adventurous Aquarius