Tips for Solo-Adventuring

I have always spent time alone. I grew up an only child and spent many mornings, afternoons and evenings entertaining myself from playing outdoors to creating entire worlds in my head to escaping between the pages of a book or getting lost in a movie. Throughout primary school and high school I was more of a loner though I managed to make friends and do fun things with them on the weekends or hang out with family. Going to college, I knew absolutely no one in Vermont and had to learn how to make friends, navigate university life, and started to learn how to spend time truly alone without family as a backup. This past year COVID-19 and isolation threw a whole other angle to the meaning of being alone. Limited access to events, restrictions on seeing people, and a general fear and stigma surrounding activities that involved being close to others definitely impacted my way of life. At the being of this year I moved into a studio apartment and have being living along ever since as I’ve transitioned into solo-camper life this summer for my job in Montana.

Basically, all of that background information was a long-winded way to say I have had plenty of time and opportunities to figure out how to be around myself and how to get out and have adventures when no one else is available.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love hanging out with other people and certainly want to get together with friends, meet new people, and socialize. However, circumstances often prevent plans from happening and rather than letting a cancelation or scheudling conflict get in my way, I try to just get out and do whatever event was planned myself.

After going through many bouts of inviting someone to join me in doing something whether it be a hike, bike, movie-dinner evening, concert, etc....and having people cancel on me or stand me up, I’ve gotten to the point in life where I just start planning on things and going anyways. If someone shows up to join me then great and if not, no big deal I can still go and have a good time by myself.

It may seem intimidating to get out and do things solo, especially as a woman, but I’m here to tell you don’t let that fear stop you. There are so many great adventures you can have by yourself and often times it can be really refreshing to do things solo. Over the past years, some pros I’ve found for doing things by myself include:

* You don’t have to act/put on a front or feel like you’re trying to entrain someone with conversation

*You don’t have to worry about anyone’s time restraints but your own

* You can go at your own pace, be as fast or slow as you want

*You can change your mind about where to go or add an extra stop along the way

*You have the chance to meet people on the way and can start up a conversation and make new friends

*You can take time an enjoy (non-award) silence or the sounds of nature

*If you want company you can always call a long-distance friend or family member

*Or if you don’t like the silence you can always listen to music or a podcast or do some talking therapy and just rant to yourself (use audiomessages or hold up your phone if you feel self-conscious about talking to yourself in public)

Unfortunately, there is some cases of danger when you’re traveling or adventuring alone so if I’m in a not-so great area (like in bear country) I try to:

* Have a check in person that I text where I’m going, esitmated time out/back, and when to check in on me if I don’t text back

*Carry bear spray/pepper spray

*Stick to more popular areas/trails where there are more people (and less bears)

*Call someone en route

*Be aware of my surroundings

*Try to not completely tune out when listenign to music/podcasts whether thats by only putting one headphone in or lowering the volume enough to still hear everything that’s happening around me

Some great solo adventures I’ve done (both urban and in nature):

*Hiking/running/biking/anything outdoors really. A recent favorite was a 10 mile hike/jog loop up the ridge trail down the foothills in Bozeman with great views and 4000 ft elevation gain.

*Park picnics or meals out—walking/biking somewhere central and having lunch or dinner, enjoying the view, maybe doing some journaling, reading a book, sketching, or just sitting and people watching

*Coffee shop dates—solo outings to get a nice cup of coffee and doing some writing, work, or just enjoying my time there

*Window shopping—aka just wandering around town, exploring the area, poking my head into shops, etc.

*Artists dates—sketching, painting, etc someplace new and getting inspired by what’s around me

*Culinary adventures—going to a grocery store and picking out fun ingredients and going back to cook a delicious meal (often accompanied by banger music or watching fun videos)

Basically anything you would do with friends you can turn it into a fun solo-adventure/date (not counting board games).

I still go struggle with feeling s of loneliness or isolation and getting out and doing something for/by myself helps much more than sitting in my room or camper and wallowing in my feelings. I’m still working on my relationship with myself, others, dealing with societal stigmas, learned fears and apprehensions, and stupid comparison traps and standards I find myself falling into.

I’m not sure who needs to hear this (other than myself) but you don’t have to be social or active 24/7. You can take a breath, some time to yourself, some time to chill, some time to go crazy, whatever you need. Listen to yourself, your body, your heart, and don’t let cancellations or rejections stop you from doing what you want to do.